Pain

I had to go to Kent State Tuscarawas campus today to drop off some paperwork. As I was arriving, a young man driving a red Cavalier was leaving. It looked just Maxwell's car, and the young man could have been his age, too. I know I told you all last month that I used to dread seeing cars like that, but that now I look forward to it because it's an opportunity to say, "Hi Max!"

Today's sighting was different. Today I imagined what it was like when Max left campus that sunny afternoon, oblivious to the fact that he would never make it home. Today it hurt. Today I'm reminded anew of the future that was taken from me when he died.

He would be graduating from Kent State next month if only...

I should be planning his graduation party; instead I'm reeling again from a sucker punch to the gut.

Death is a miserable bastard.