Big Pink Farm
Find us on Facebook or send us an email
  • Home
  • Farmhouse Soap
  • Pastured poultry
  • Dairy goats
  • Farm Blog
  • Woodworking
  • Contact Us

October is gunning for me

10/4/2016

4 Comments

 
We were in a van. Roger was driving, and I was in the front passenger seat. The three youngest kids were in the backseats. The street ahead was crowded with people, many of them armed with enormous guns with wide barrels. Roger turned right at the intersection, but took the turn too fast and -- through a slow-motion series of events that can only happen in a dream -- the van ended up completely upside down in the middle of the now deserted road.

​I unbuckled from my seat and crawled to the back of the van to free the kids from their car seats and seatbelts. They were unhurt, and I felt such relief! But relief soon turned to worry; how were we going to get out of this mess (read: how are we going to pay for this?), and WHERE THE HECK WERE THE PEOPLE WHO CAN HELP US?

​Then gunshots, so many gunshots. I lost count of how many as I scrambled to keep my kids flat on the floor of the van (which was actually the roof) to avoid being hit by a bullet. The entire van was filled with the very palpable presence of fear and anxiety.

​Fortunately, because it was a dream, the people shooting at us had terrible aim and no one was hit.



What does it mean? Maybe it doesn't mean anything. Scientists are keenly interested in sleep research and what happens in the brain when we slumber. Meanwhile, armchair philosophers claim to be able to interpret dreams. I've never given any of it much thought other than waking up from a particularly weird or scary dream with a deep sense of relief or sometimes longing.

​But here's my private theory: October arrived again, as it always does, and sucked the air out of the room. October means pain.

​And now, apparently, October is gunning for me and a few more of my kids.
4 Comments
Corey Walker link
10/4/2016 11:45:09 am

I like the way the Story starts it keeps my attention, and I'm glad it was just a dream. It takes a vey interesting point of view, I couldn't tell it was dream at first, great pandemonium, and humor. I was almost waiting to see a resolution of the dream. I take it you don't like October due to the series of events. Maybe you should read and comment on mine, I promise there are no bad dreams there.

Reply
Alison link
10/4/2016 09:08:56 pm

Thanks for reading, Corey. (I also read and commented on your post; thank you for suggesting it.)

October 17th will be the 4th anniversary of the death of my firstborn child Maxwell. He was 19 years old when he died as a result of injuries sustained in a motor vehicle accident when a semi-truck smashed into his tiny car while he was driving home from his classes as a freshman at Kent State Tuscarawas Campus.

So October went from being my most favorite month of the year to the one I wish with all my heart I could just sleep through and wake up when it's over.

Since then, I've written sporadically about his life, death, and the aftermath in several blog posts (categorized under "grief" and "Maxwell"). I've been blogging off and on here since 2008, though, so it's not all doom and gloom, I promise.

Reply
Janet Billson
10/4/2016 12:39:58 pm

Arrgh. I hate those kinds of dreams. Even though it was "only" a dream, the anxiety you are feeling when you dream that kind of dream is very, very real.

Here's to getting through October! I am praying for you.

Reply
Alison link
10/4/2016 08:54:13 pm

Thank you, Janet. I appreciate your prayers. October is just something to endure, while still staying present, which is a tough balancing act.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Who's that?

    Much of the blame belongs to me,  Alison.  I am:  Wife to 1 man, Mom to 10 kids, and Farmer to a great many critters.

    Archives

    October 2016
    September 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    March 2015
    November 2013
    October 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    February 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    August 2012
    May 2011
    February 2011
    December 2010
    September 2010
    June 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    January 2010
    December 2009
    November 2009
    August 2009
    July 2009
    April 2009
    January 2009
    December 2008
    November 2008
    October 2008
    September 2008
    August 2008
    July 2008
    June 2008
    May 2008
    April 2008
    March 2008
    February 2008
    January 2008

    Categories

    All
    Chickens
    Did I Say That
    Family
    Farm Goodies
    Farm Life
    Funny
    Garden
    Goats
    Google Adwords
    Grief
    Maxwell
    Ramblings
    Turkeys
    Woodworking

    RSS Feed